I'm posting here because I know that no one will ever read it. I'm a Pastor, and what I'm about to write would not be kindly received by the rest of Christianity. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel like this is directed at him or her personally.

I'm really struggling to identify myself as "Christian." I've become deeply disillusioned by the people who make up this beautiful faith.

They're mean.

They're bigoted.

They're exclusive.

Not all of them of course, but a significant and growing number. Fundamentalism has been on the rise, since 9/11 especially. What was once a kind of lunatic fringe has become the loudest voice in the Christian culture. What was once understood as intolerant sectarianism has hijacked the Christian agenda. On the other end of the spectrum are the extremes of charismania, represented by places like IHOP, where "faith" and "rationality" are placed entirely at odds with one another. The most fervent prayer is that Jesus will come back NOW, even if that means billions spending eternity separated from God.

Both camps treat the Scriptures, God's beautiful word to us, with wooden, irrational literalism, pulling and distorting it beyond all recognition. Both create "in" and "out" camps, forcing people to jump through all kinds of hoops in addition to loving Jesus.

Both, through meanness on one hand and naked craziness on the other, drive people further and further from a transforming relationship with Jesus. Neither camp gives a single shit about the anybody outside their belief system, though they both are full of hot air about how they do.

The only thing Christians seem willing to take stands on are the silly minutia of doctrine, which nobody but them gives a rat's ass about. Justice? The only justice they care about is the kind the unbeliever's going to get in hell. Hallelujah! Shutting out the unbeliever? Let's make sure we don't debate about that! I mean, God's got to have somebody to throw into hell, right? Sure! Otherwise his perfect word isn't true. The rights of women? Well, that's easy. The Bible is clear that women are inferior. Next question, please. The gay community? Of course they're included so long as they're not gay anymore. Muslims? Hell. Jews? Well, they're in, but don't ask me to describe the functional difference between them and Muslims since neither group believes in Jesus. Gandhi? Hell. Abraham? Heaven, of course! Duh.

God forbid any of us should discuss the fact that irrationality, intolerance, bigotry, homophobia, hypocrisy and ignorance are celebrated as fundamental virtues of the faith. I mean, the very word "faith" means turning your brain off and believing any and all kinds of nonsense, the very requirement of which is that it be completely irrational lunacy. I mean, if it weren't why would we need faith?

Seriously, that's the way the thinking goes. You just can't make this shit up.

The Good News is better than this. I know it is. The Good News is that Jesus came and rescued us, any of us, as we were. We didn't have to come to him. He came to us. God meets us where we are, any of us, not where he wants us to be. God never stands over us, threatening us with eternity in hell if we don't get our shit together; he never wags his finger at us, shouting that he knew we'd never get it right, he knew we'd never amount to anything. God never beat us over the head with a my-way-or-the-highway speech.

Some of us had dads like that. If I really believed that God were like that, I'd worship a dog instead. He wouldn't be good; he'd be the most evil being in the universe, a fact which a great number of Christians would be more than happy to proclaim. Worship God who hates EVERYONE EQUALLY!

Fuck that.

And yeah, I said "shit" three times and "fuck" once. Well, now it's four times and two times. If you're offended, sitting there thinking that God's pissed at me right now, then you're the Christian I'm talking about.